Dr. Carmella’s guide to understanding the introverted

A comic strip, drawn by Schroeder Veidt, summarises the characteristics of an introvert and how to deal with them. It is a very interesting piece of comic strip that illustrates how introverts behave around people, their characteristics and how to understand them better. As an introvert myself, I agree with what is being mentioned in this comic strip and I can relate it to easily.

I am an introvert myself, I have no qualms in hanging out with a bunch of friends, most of them extroverted in their own ways, or go to loud parties and just let it all loose. I like doing that. And I think sometimes, introverts do want to spend some of their time just letting loose, going loud and cheery in front of their friends. But in contrast to extroverts, introverts do that far less often and will only do it when they feel like it as opposed to allowing their friends to choose a time where they could let it all out. In the comic strip, they mentioned that introverts create their own energy, and thus it is important that after a good party or socialising, they need to spend some time alone to recharge. I do that all the time. Sometimes when I hangout with my friends the whole day, I would get tired emotionally. Suddenly at the end of the day, I just feel like going home, and not talking to anyone. The next day, I would have no mood at all in going out . I would stay at home, catch up on my tv series that I downloaded or simply read a book quietly. All these seemed far more appealing than spending another day out with another group of friends.

Personally, when I am faced with having to meet my social obligations to my friends day in and day out, I will still do it, but with considerably less energy than the previous day. Examples would include me talking less, not really engaging in a conversation with my friends, getting a little bit moody and contemplative. Not actively involved in any decision making process when it comes to things that we want to do for the day, or having to eat what outside. I would just leave it to my friends and would have no preferences at all. Sometimes I could be the first to leave the group, coming up with some excuses so that I can be home earlier. All these actions are not the result of being bored with my group of friends that I am hanging out with, but rather, my need to recharge is greater than the joy and satisfaction that I am getting in chilling out with my friends. If I am bored at home, and I still need to recharge, I would do some retail therapy, but alone. Going to a library, or a cafe and snuggle up with a good book and good coffee is another great alternative. While recharging, a change in your environment can help you to recharge faster, so long as you are alone by yourself to do the recharging.

The comic strip also mentioned about the precious energy that they accumulate and store. And because of the considerable effort in accumulating those energy, they tend to be rather picky in who and how to spend it with. I find that true based on my personal experience. There are times where I am so drained with all the social obligations that I had to fulfil  for the entire week, but sometimes I am willing to spend a little bit more  (or what I have left with) on another ‘socialising session’ on someone that I truly cared for, or with someone whom I think deserve my time and attention with him or her. Certain people whom I have known for a very long time, whom I can relate to easily and click instantaneously, are often the ones that I am willing to go the extra mile for them. The time may be spent to recharge my energy, but instead, I am willing to postpone that and use my remaining precious energy on him or her.

Introverts love company. They feel loneliness too. Sometimes people misunderstood introverts for being anti-social. They are not. They handle company in a different way, and I have experienced it before. There were many occasions where I realisd that I am never the one to lead on a conversation, especially in a group. I tend to listen more than talk. I respond as per normal when asked about something, but usually I am rarely the one to lead the conversation. And because of that, I feel that some of them misunderstood me as being overly quiet and withdrawn from a group conversation. But I am not. I am listening. I enjoy listening, and contributing to the conversation only when I feel comfortable doing it or I have something interesting or useful to contribute. I like to listen and ponder, more than talk my way through. This can become especially difficult when I am in a one-on-one setting. I have experienced numerous times the awkward silences that followed after a short conversation when I am talking to someone else. I would get really shy talking to the person especially if they are not as close or if I know very little about them. I am never the person to start a conversation. Rather it is always better for that other party to initiate and lead on with more questions, which I am more than willing to answer.

Introverts like me, don’t find anything wrong with being in a company of others, by being silent most of the time. The presence of your loved ones, or close friends is enough to make them not feel lonely. It does not have to be a session of gossip and mindless chatter just to make it feel like it was worth spending my time with him or her. But extroverts do not see it that way.

Below is the comic strip that I was referring to.