This week’s Glee is all about Saturday Night Fever. They did a number of incredible songs from that hugely popular show. But it also taught me one of the more important lessons about life.
As Will Schuester said it in the show:
It’s not the broken dreams that break us. It’s the ones we didn’t dare to dream
After watching that episode, it got me thinking; what do I want to accomplish in life? What is my dream? I thought I had a pretty clear idea on what I wanted to do. But when 2012 arrived, everything started to get a little hazy. I dunno what happened. It could be a number of factors that led me to this predicament. Somehow, all of a sudden, I feel lost again. For months, I have been trying to find my way, perhaps trying to see a little glint in some dark corner as to give me a hint of what I enjoy doing. I am approaching that crossroad, and it would be a matter of time before I need to make some major decisions that would affect my life in the years ahead.
I couldn’t find the answer. Not yet anyway. Add to the fact that it has been an emotionally taxing year so far, I feel that I have to do something different. Do something new, try to find a way to get that fresh breath of air blowing against my skin. Run away from everything for a short time while I ‘rediscover’ myself once more. This is the main reason why I decided to just go ahead with the volunteer work in Tunisia. I just had to get away from it all. I hope I can, for once in a long while, be myself and not put up a face in front of everyone. I just want people I meet to accept me for who I am, at face value. I want people to not judge me and just accept me wholeheartedly. I want a place where I can let my hair down. I want a place where no one thinks of my differently when I’m going through this whole journey of self discovery.
So will I finally be able to find my dreams over there? I surely hope so. If not at least I can be a better person when I come back. That is my primary aim. To be a better person. 6 weeks might sound short, but there are a lot of things that can happen during that 6 weeks. I want to be more confident, to find a space from within me that I can be more comfortable with myself. To find that will and focus so that I can lead my life without being tethered to something or someone. Hopefully my time spent away from home would allow me to heal, close the gaps and start afresh on certain things in life that have gone stale.