Friendships, I probably have to try harder. Or should I?

But when do you know if trying hard is too hard?Friends and friendships in general means a lot to me. But sometimes its difficult to realize that the actions you do, might affect your relationship with your friends down the road. And as such, im contantly conscious about how I treat them. The thought of losing one is painful for me, but then again, sometimes letting go may be a necessity but it is so hard because im blinded by loyalty. And sometimes i just try too hard, you know, to be a control freak sometimes when it comes to such relationships. Sometime i just gotta let go and let things take it’s course.

I guess my primary flaw is that i judge people too early, too much. I am very distrustful against people i dont know, and its this sense of distrust that creates a barrier in making new friends. I sometimes feel that they have to go through an intense get-to-know session before they are accepted as a friend. Oh what am i saying. It sounds so naive. Loyalty to a fault, I just dont know where is the line to differentiate which friendships are true.

I can easily say to most of my friends when they need help or favors: “For you, a thousand times over.”

The quote was taken from Khalled Hosseini’s novel, The Kite Runner. Beautiful quote. I can definitely say this over and over to most of my friends, for i value such relationships dearly. But looking at the other side of the coin, can they say the same to me when I need help? Sometimes i feel like im being trampled on with not a care in the world. Like being used and worse, I dont see it coming, till it’s too late.