Change… its so hard to deal with.

Its been a long time since i updated my blog, and there were so many things i wanna share with you, but i just couldnt find the time nor the computer to do it. My computer decided to go on strike last week, ending up spending the entire weekend AGAIN, to fix it. Apparently the cause of the problem was the hard disk. It started failing and looked like a fatal software error, when it was actually hardware that was giving the problem.

That aside, here i am blogging again. Alot of changes around me i had to deal with lately. That partially explains the lack of entries, and above all, the lack of inspiration to write. Nonetheless, im still keeping this blog alive. While the time when i was on hiatus, i just dunno where to start.

Life’s been tough lately. I barely had enough for myself, much less spending less each time for my family. August went by so fast and here comes september. It is a good and a bad thing. The good thing, is that my birthday is around the corner and things has settled quite a bit since last month. Fasting month is here, dissappointingly, since i cant really enjoy all the delicious mooncakes that comes by once every year. I got a small taste of the Bengawan Solo’s snow skin, durian flavored mooncake. Costed 3 bucks for a small sized mooncake. But it tasted delicious. A friend of mine introduced to me this crunchy and sweet swedish cookies that he bought from Ikea’s cafe. I like is so much that i actually went all the way down to Ikea to buy myself a box of those cookies. 

I made a fair share of damage to my wallet last month too. Bought quite a lot of blu ray stuff like the upcoming Transformers movie and Afro Samurai. I bought a new blue messenger bag from Gap last week. Its really cool and simple bag that costed 70 bucks. A little pricey but the material is sturdy and good. 

You know, i think i know why im feeling down and moody. All the retail therapy (buying stuff) and food therapy are all an effort to lift up my spirits. Dont get me wrong they do lift up my spirits, but like drugs, they wear off after a while. 

One of the aspects of being an NSF is the fact that you have to bear with change. Not just with the environment around you but with the people whom you meet. I think while you are in NS, its kinda cruel to face the fact that you meet so many people, in all walks of life, made some really good friends and then in a blink of an eye, they are gone. Im not talking about them being dead, but rather the leave you, or you leave them. From BMT, i made really good friends. 3 months was all it took, to never see them again. Onto my transport supervisor course and then to my current unit, seeing my friends ORDing sooner than me. I make really good friends, treating them like brothers, and before you know it, they are gone. Day by day while they are there beside you, everyday and now they left a gaping hole in your heart.

Now im not really crying my eyes out for them just because they leave, but rather, its the sort of a bittersweet ending that you feel whenever you leave them, or they leave you. Yesterday, a good friend of mine that i made while in my unit ORD. It was sad to see him leave, especially being new there, he helped me alot back then. This morning when i woke up,  he crafted this beautiful and lengthy sms, thanking me for helping him and getting through difficult times together. I knew him only 3 months, but it felt like years. I was so touched to have made an effort in crafting that sms. It must have taken quite a while to type that out on the phone. I really appreciate the effort and the thought that comes with it. 

There’s no doubt that ill see more of my friends that i recently made ording sooner than me. They are really great people and i hope i can get in touch with them soon, somewhere down the road. If there is one thing that i can take back with me when i finish serving my NS, is being proud of knowing who my true friends were no matter how brief the encounter might be.