A sense of loneliness creeping in.

As the days passed, more and more of my friends entered NS, and started their basic military training. Today, i woke up incredibly early and sent off 2 of my closest secondary school mates to Tekong. It was full of mixed feelings for me, to see my friends going on to their new phases in life, while I have to wait for 2 more months before its my turn to head there. I was neither  sad nor will i miss them terribly, but I somehow felt a sense of loss and detachment. In some ways i felt left behind, as more and more of my friends enter NS. The sense of loneliness creeping in.

I shall not comment on how the tour of the BMTC was like and what was done during the entire morning, but suffice to say, after what I’ve been through, suddenly out of nowhere i had this urge to go in earlier. But i cant do anything right now, and there is no point in my regretting the decision to not go into NS earlier. Its just that it would be great if i see some familiar faces within my Company or platoon when im going through BMT.  The absence of support from my friends has slowly casted doubts about my future, serving NS, going through BMT. Its not that I doubt my abilities, but whether i would be recognized for my achievements, if any, while in NS. Whenever there are changes around me being made, im kinda slow in adapting, due to the fact that im prone in holding on to the past, unwilling to let it go. The good times with my friends, its something i treasure alot, and their absence somehow makes me hollow. My only hope for now, would be Aaron and Zhihao to send me off, just like what i have done for them today. I hope that simple gesture would come to fruition when my time comes, then maybe that would be just what i need, a thin ray of support from them to get me through BMT positively.

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