Reservist

To blog about one’s reservist experience, one has to be careful not to divulge too many things that went on during reservist training. For me, I had just completed my second cycle and while trying not to divulge in too many details in what I did, let’s just say I recently went through a high key reservist training. However, I attended a training course at a training school rather than going back to my unit. Somehow I was selected to go through this course, which right now seems appropriate given my appointment back at my unit. So this entry is not so much about what I did during my time there, but how I feel after going through said training course. This piece is more of a reflection of the time spent there and less of a recollection of events happened during the course.

In all honesty, I wasn’t keen in going through this training course, despite the fact that I received my notification six months in advance (I received my sms notifications while I was vacationing in Japan to much annoyance.). I am pretty sure that I am not alone in this. Other may have felt that way too. So six months may be a long time, but in no time at all, it was time to go. I had to mentally prepare myself as to what I would encounter. But as I said, I am not here to talk about what happened during my time there. Suffice to say, all I want to express, was that I started this course with great reluctance, but towards the end, once I completed the course, (and thus placing myself in the top 20% of my cohort, which was surprising, given the fact that I didn’t really pull my weight when it comes to the course itself. I literally just went with the flow.) I felt a great sense of sadness. Two weeks was enough to convert my mindset from doing something with great reluctance, to having that sense of loss after we said our goodbyes. Two weeks was not enough to experience this great sense of camaraderie among our course mates, but it was enough to give us a taste, however slight, that if we had known each other better over time, we would make one hell of a group.

We got along very well surprisingly despite the fact that we act pretty much like distant acquaintances, rather than best buddies. When the NS men and regulars mingle together, you can always feel that sense of divide, but not to the point of preventing us from working together as a team. Over time it was enough to know our dislikes and likes, our little quirks and we cherish that. Seriously, I am staring to miss my course mates, because I know that there is a good chance, that I may never see them again. And that is the sad thing. I hate saying goodbyes. But on that last day, I have to admit, that I felt a great pang of regret of not using my time better to get to really know them well and make great friends.

It’s been a while since I felt such camaraderie. Sure, it was impossible for me to get to know every 40 odd course mates well during the two week period, but at least we respect each other and work together putting our egos and pride aside.

And speaking of being the top 20% of my cohort. It was totally unexpected. In fact, looking back, I don’t think I deserve it. Sure I did everything I was told. But only when I am told. Was I proactive during my time there? Did I really rise up to the challenge when the times go tough during the training course? I don’t think so. So what did I do to deserve the honor? And I not giving myself enough credit? Do I have certain potential that I myself don’t see it? I am pretty sure I am just about anyone else, in terms of technical know how applied during my training. The only way I can think of was that I was simply a pleasant person to work with. To look at myself critically, (which is terribly hard) I would say, I was just a nice guy, doing nice things. I am no one special. And although I truly appreciate being placed in the top 20%, I still find that puzzling. Thank you so much for the support whoever you are.

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