Negativity

Having emotion is good. It means that you have feeling to feel for something or someone. But being too emotional is not good. It hinders you progress for being a better person, it ignites fears within you, it overshadows doubts and negativity that is in the very soul of everyone. Im not implying that everyone is sooo emotional. Some people are and some people are able to overcome their emotions. They know what is right to do and what is not. Before the SYF, i as a band major was furious at looking so many people cry over something that could not be predicted! This is incredulous. You tell everyone about your emotions and spread negativity to all your peers like a disease and in the end, everyone feels bad about him or her and their performance for SYF, soon i say more and more people crying over something that could not be foreseen. If you are being very emotional, stop spreading to other people the negativity of your emotions! It spreads like wildfire. Some dont understand or being too guilyy conscious when i raised the issue. As long as you dont affect other peole is fine by everyone. If you want to talk to somebody about your problems, do it privately. You expect me as a band major, and the other major to cry in front of the whole band and telling them “Oh, band i think you cannot get silver for SYF, you have not practice enough, im feeling scared” Imagine how would others feel!? You expect the majors to behave like that, sheri and the teacher will give me one tight slap on our faces for being soo emotional and showing them your negative emotions. It Spreads! One girl was so emotional that she dont want to listen to me at all, but soon she overcame it althought we didnt talk to each other for that day, we were friends the next, she dropped the whole thing altogether.

RULE NO. 1 : Never cry in front of the whole band. Sheri and Ayuni told me about this.
When i scolded the band, i nearly broke to tears. but i managed to kept it inside. Even Edmund nearly burst into tears when he was alone in the band store and i was the only one with him. I told him straight to his face, never cry in front of the band and showing your weaknesses, the whole band will feel bad about it. Just put your foot into our shoes for once, i and the majors were equally nervous and frightened when SYF crept closer. But do you expect us, the most influential people in band to break down into tears in front of the whole band?! I have to basically summoned up all my strength to go up there in front of the whole band talking about this whole incident. And even greater strength to give you words of advice, encouragement. Dont forget who was the first person to spread the encouraging sms to the rest of the band. And that was really encouraging.

Now you know why i dont like scolding the band. Grudges began to resurface and when you decided to let it all out, nobody likes it. Even in the very private confines of my online journal, i get rantings and criticisms. <FONT COLOR=”#0000FF”>This journal is the closest thing i can have to a brother to let my emotions go, whether it is negative or positive</FONT>. I thought that watever i write inside this journal would be forgotten and forgiven, but i was wrong.

“Faint” by Linkin Park (EDITED, Chorus Removed)

I am a little bit of loneliness a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints but I can’t help the fact that everyone can see these scars
I am what I want you to want what I want you to feel
But it’s like no matter what I do, I can’t convince you, to just believe this is real
So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I’m not here

I am a little bit insecure a little unconfident
Cause you don’t understand I do what I can but sometimes I don’t make sense
I am what you never wanna say but I’ve never had a doubt
It’s like no matter what I do I can’t convince you for once just to hear me out
So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I’m not here